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STORY TIME The blonde moments of ME!!! ((Bethany -- of Blonde Issues and Flaming Tissues)) I was bored (uh oh) and everyone was out of the house except me (double uh oh). A lighter was left out, so I thought "Hey [stupid], I should play with fire!" I made the flame go on and off (yahoo) but soon got bored with that. Then I thought "Hey [stupid], I should light something!" Do you get where this is going yet? I went into our kitchen to find something to light. Lo and behold! The first thing I set eyes on was a Kleenex. (I swear I had no idea kleenex's went up in flame that fast). So, I take the lighter and the kleenex back to the living room (WHAT WAS I THINKING...?) and -- hee hee hee -- lit the kleenex. WHOOSH!!! It took .05 seconds for the entire kleenex to be a flaming mass. I dropped it... and of course it landed on the carpet. It took a few seconds before I reacted and started jumping on the flame. I put it out... but now there's a nice burnt spot in the middle of our living room floor. Wow -- that was really stupid. I had spring fever (uh oh) and so I asked Amy if she wanted to go biking. She was all like, "sure! But there's nowhere fun to bike around here." (This was while Wheel Park was being built). So I was all like, "we could go biking *dun dun dun DUH* in the CANAL". Amy, being blonde, agreed (see! It's not ALL my fault...?) I went in first, biked down the steep cement wall and made a nice wide turn. Wheee! Then I hear Amy following behind me: "WHEEEEEE-AHHHHHH *CRASH* Uhhhahhh... owie..." She was green, slimy, but laughing -- and bleeding... EVERYWHERE. I though she must've lost a limb by the amount of blood that was everywhere. When we finally limped all the way home (smelling like duck crap, ugh) we found out that it was just a little piece of glass in her finger. Her finger was numb, but we were sure it would soon be back to normal. We were wrong. To this day, she has no feeling in the tip of her finger -- just because I wanted to go biking the canal. Wow -- that was really stupid. My friend (Kyrie) and I wanted a thrill (uh oh), and it had been raining all day so we wanted to get out of the house. We searched through her garage and found a scooter (only ONE, remember). Now there just happens to be a road that goes down a huge hill right outside her house, and -- forgetting our shoes -- we run outside eager to go down the hill. We couldn't settle on who should get to go first, so we decided to double ride. I was in front (steering), Kyrie in the back. We start going down, and about half-way down (big hill, still wet from rain, bare feet, double riding -- any ideas yet?) I notice we're going really fast and heading toward a row of parked cars. Of course we can't stop (no shoes), but when I try to turn I CAN'T. Kyrie has also seen the cars that we're speeding toward and has totally frozen up, grabbing onto the handle-bars (outside my hands) and keeping me from turning. It only takes me a fraction of a second to put three and three together (which equals five, btw) and yell "BAIL OUT!!!". She jumps and lands on grass (of course) and I jump and land on the PAVEMENT and slide. Owww.... I left yard-long streaks of blood. Still have those scars. Wow -- that was really stupid. Some others include:
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